A Crappy Mom experience

So yesterday our family went to help clean the church. This comes around maybe every 3-6 months. The boys were pretty excited to go. They were talking about what job they would help with. (Windows, garbage, vacuum) We usually get there and there are so many families that we clean one window and leave, which means we are out of there in 10 minutes. This time was different. We got there and we were the only family there. We must have been early.
Anyway, I take the window cleaner and start the doors with Porter. My 2yr old is quite the window cleaner. Shane takes the other 3 and starts vacuuming. We are going along just fine. Another family joins us. That is good. We may not be here all night.
I am still cleaning windows and am just about finished when Wyatt walks up to me and says "I went to the boys bathroom, but I need help". I look over at him and then smell him. WOOOOW!! What happened? He has poop everywhere. Now you would expect this from a 2yr old, but no this is my 4 1/2yr old... OK lets clean you up. So off I go into the girls bathroom. He has it up his back, down his leg and on his shoe. You have got to be kidding me. I stand there for a minute to make a plan of attack. I can't put him in the sink. He would pull it off the wall. That would be a bigger mess. The paper towels are shredding as I wet them....I go back out to the glass doors and get one of their heavy duty towels. That will work. I use it as a wash cloth and lather the boy up with that great smelling church soap. I also wash his clothes. He did spare his shirt. Whew! One less thing to wash. So now that he is all clean, now what do I do with him? He can't run around the church without any bottoms on... Yes, I did. I put the wet ones back on. What other choice did I have? Ok. Child clean.
Now I have to find the bathroom he was in. This doesn't sound fun either. He shows me where he went. Yes it was the boys bathroom. So I go in. I haven't been in a boys bathroom often. There are things in there that aren't in a girls bathroom....Like a urinal.....So the smart kid used the urinal. He must have sat on it. Not sure how, but a nice surprise was there waiting for me. He had then went to find toilet paper in a stall. So I had traces there also. So I grab cleaning stuff and get to work. Well that darn urinal kept flushing on me. It freaked me out the first time. Of course it has a sensor and every time I moved an inch it would spray water at me.
For all of you that attend the same church as I do. You will be happy to know that I did clean that boys bathroom. It was mopped also.
We spent another 5 minutes locating Porter who was with me when Wyatt first approached me. I must have forgotten I was in charge of him. He was in the YW room, but couldn't get out. I am not sure I am fit for this stuff.
So after a little over an hour we are done. They may never ask us to help again. We make messes instead of cleaning. Some may say all in a days work for a mom. YUCK!!!